All the Noise
God it’s been a tough week. I realize I haven’t written a blog for PJLC since my diagnosis, and here I am, one third of the way through my radiation treatment. I’m sitting on a porch, listening to the rain and I’m finding myself frustrated. There is a busy road nearby and I can hear car, after car, after car driving by. I hear air conditioners and some kind of weed eater. It overwhelms the sound of the rain, even though I’m surrounded by trees and rain. It’s a steady rain, but not furious. The kind of rain that reminds you of lazy summer afternoons and lemonade. The kind of rain where you still see birds flitting about and frogs hopping around, happy for the refreshing water. I’m frustrated because all I want is to listen to the rain - connect with nature and find my peace and s***. But it’s being drowned out by machinery and busyness and noise.
It’s a lot like my life, I realize. Day by day, my goal is to find my peace. Be like those girls in those pictures on Instagram and wake up with a smile, warm giant cup of coffee, and a cute sweater hanging off my shoulder. Instead, I roll out of bed at the last minute, stub my toe on the door, and drop the coffee pot. By the way, whoever thinks that people who haven’t had their coffee yet are qualified to make a cup of coffee without having first had their coffee is clearly a sadist. So how do we do it? How do we tune out the overwhelming noise and find our peace, and hear the gentle rain over the busyness? We will never just get rid of the crazy that is our lives, but I’m sure there’s a way to adjust. After all, just like I’m surrounded by the trees and rain right now, we are truly surrounded by peace - we just don’t hear it.
I’m going to start small and be intentional. I find that the more I focus on something, the louder it gets, right? And it works both ways. Focus on the crazy - the crazy gets louder. Focus on the peace - the peace gets louder. If I tune in and try to hear, intentionally hear, the rain - it’s there. It calls out to me and welcomes me in, that peace that surpasses all understanding. If I wait for the right conditions, the right day, the moment that the noise stops, it’ll never happen. I have to find my peace, search it out, draw it to me. I challenge you to do the same…. write out what brings you peace. And go grab it by the horns, make it yours, own it like a boss. You deserve peace, so find it, and stop waiting for the right time. Now is the right time.
Garden of the Gods, Colorado
